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Indie Raymond "Red" Reddington from NBC's Blacklist. Private. Selective. Mun/Muse 21+. Dark Themes present. Please read rules/bio before following/interacting. Written by Erick
“The Onion” article title sentence meme

phoenixiism:

ask-meme-addicts:

  • Zing! I just got you with another one of my trademark ‘complete lies’.
  • Is this a picture of the internet?
  • I always thought losing your sunglasses was something that happened to other people.
  • When I die my entire fortune will be donated to charity, except the $40 billion I will have buried with me.
  • One time I punched a goose right out of the air.
  • I will drink every last drop of water on earth.
  • I know heaven is real because I saw it and abducted an angel.
  • Sometimes I feel like things would be better off if I never existed.
  • Whenever I feel sad, I just go down to the wreck of the titanic.
  • Please, make yourself at home while I silently count down the seconds until you leave.
  • I’m always open to feedback that I can get defensive about and ultimately ignore.
  • When I need strength, I turn to the bible or whatever else is around.
  • So help me God, I’m going to eat one of those multicolored detergent pods.
  • I wish I could get through to you with a sports analogy, young man.
  • God has kind of a loose outline for us all.
  • After another incredible summer, it’s time to put my shirt back on.
  • You really don’t know who people are until you make a vicious snap judgment about them.
  • If another country ever started calling itself America, I’d be so pissed.
  • I’d like to see the government try and take away my trash.
  • If you want to date my daughter, you’re going to have to date me first.
  • The only way to get over your fear of the moon is to walk on it.
  • A woman as beautiful and intoxicated as yourself shouldn’t be drinking alone, my dear.
  • Aw, fer crying out loud!
  • I only like movies where the whole cast dances in a little box next to the end credits.
  • Looking back on my life, I guess my biggest regret is trying to fight that alligator 5 minutes ago.
  • You might be wondering why I’m wearing a cap usually reserved for playing baseball.
  • As a failure, I’ve learned to appreciate the little things in life.
  • How about we go outside and settle this like emotionally stunted men?
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